At the brink of everything

5th June 2016

I have a lot of things I want to write. But I procastinated.
So I missed a lot.
Let me do some recap.

Weeks ago, I was locked outside of my house. 

I gave Hajar the keys and she fell asleep. 

I came back from the ugl with Haziq.
When I arrived, I called her around 100 times, no answer. 

Haziq ckp "Dah dah lah tu. Kesian dia bangun nanti dia freak out"

I dah freak out, where should I go. Subuh dah nak masuk.
Oh it was 4am plus. Bayangkan, lama macam tu stay up.

Lel padahal bukan study sangat pun. Melepak kat port best dgn dia.

We settled by pergi solat subuh kat cimic and then 

I was so reluctant nak pg memana pun.

Haziq ajak g tumpang tido rumah dia.

I was scared af sebab bahayaaaaa.

Then dah lama I was sooo sleepy nak tido and all 

So I agreed. Followed him home and slept in his room.

Nampak gambar girlfriend dia, Heartbreak? Takyah cakap.

But excuse me, I am in his room, so you know what's good (bij mode on)

Hajar woke up at 6 something, but I was already asleep at that time.

I woke up at 10, Hajar texted

So long ady?

Bismillah.

Fuh. That was long. Since the last time I write. Well, for a starter, Im here.
University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign,

My dream university, that came true; (I meant, dreaming into get into this uni)

A lot has happened. A lot lot lot lot lot has happened. 

I found new friends, nice seniors, cool american kids, and genius kiasu sepet friends.

Hahaha.

I survived my first semester. Alhamdulillah. 

Okay survive might be subjective. My kind of survive is; i ended my first semester.

Hahaha. Now is my second day of summer. Only second.

And right now,

At this exact moment, everything is still nice. 

But one thing is at edge. Edge of falling? Probably?
Well, back to this exact moment. I am facetime-ing this one guy.

He is super nice. A senior. The one that I respect. 

(Ah, sheeshh guys, he has a significant other already, stop making faces)

He is nice. And that is exactly the problem.