I GOT IN !!!

Alhamdulillah All Praises to Allah.

All these while I have been bragging and whining and even weeping on 

University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign

Usually when I open myillini, this is what I see. It has been weeks that I kept visiting this site. Sigh true love never is tiring right ......

And last two nights (20th October) , i checked my myillini (online portal for all applicants)

I SEE THISSSSS !!!!

I was like "OMG what is this, did I clicked something else" Until I saw the 

you're an Illini

and then there was this 

Accept your offer
What's next

When I was certain that that was my admission notice, 

I SCREAMED MY LUNGS OUT !!!

This is more than just happiness. This is a relief. This is the end of my misery. This is it.
I was just so happy at that time. Really, this is the greatest day of my life. There, I said it. It was more than a straight-As result, more than the feels when I got offered SPC. More than anything else. 

But I feel bad about some other things too. Like me cannot be so happy when some of my friends did not even get reply from their universities yet. There were plenty of some other things too. But I am too happy to even bother. Not that I am selfish. But I have gone through a misery YOU could not even understand. The inner conflicts. That I thought I deserved to be happy at this point of my life. 

Im sorry. You will have this happy moment. Not long from now. Dont worry. I know you will. I just hope that you will be happy for me too.

Pray the best for me, because I always do pray for you :)

My favorite squad

"Hello, Assalamualaikum?"

"Waalaikummussalam"

"Akak.."

"Hmm ?"

"Tice tanya nak keluar tak? Ni dah otw nak gi subang. Nak makan Birdman. Nak ikut tak?"

"Birdman? Birdman&Co?"
"Haaaa haah"
"Ha nak ikuttttt !!! Tapi akak kena bersiap apa semua dulu"
"Ha boleh boleh"
"Okay byeeeeee"

Within just 20 minutes, i went for mandi and solat. Thats an achievement. Hahaha. Let me introduce you my squad. My beloved teacher, tice Wan kesayangan and two toyol ; Kamal and Aiman. Well initially in high school they were more of them. Azim and Shah, and uh, I think that's it. Oh, and of course my favorite girl, Eleena Hafizah. She is in Australia right now. So of course she joins us online (or sometime she didnt haha sorry eleena!).

We picked Haikal Lupi Amir (I hope I get your name right) at Casa Subang. Sumpah ingat Casa Subang tu buruk ja weh. Tapi hahahaha bapak lawaaaaaaa !!! Then we headed to Birdman&Co. When it was around 10 meters away from the restaurant, I recalled that today is Monday and I know that...........it is closed on Monday........Takdak rezekiiiiii :(

Okay next tempat makan best kat mana?

Couldnt lie that my brain was like hurricane trying to find a new place to eat. Sunway. No its already 8++ pm. Too late. Hipster lain. Hm. 

Grafa  !!!!!

All time favorite hahaha. So we went to grafa yeayyyy. It was a bit sad because I have been craving the chicken and Birdman&Co tapi takpalah takdak rezeki :) Grafa pun not bad. Kali ni org nak belanja so okay sahaja. We went to Grafa and of course parking cam harem so kena pusing dua kali. Lalu kami pun melintasi kedai kedai hipster yang lain. Sepert Oregi, Sangkaya, Fatbaby Ice Cream, Tappers, Wak doyok punya barbershop and uh, itu ja hahahaha (ja) .

So they were like "Oh mcm seronok ja duduk sini. Makan best"

Oh not LIVE HERE takkan nak makan setiap hari kat kedai hipster ko ingat aku anak gabenor ?! Hahaha. Arrived at Grafa, Ordered the same thing, Pasta Ala Arabiata (Seafood).

Make way for theseeee fooooooodd !! 

That is a mushroom soup (I think complement with the garlic bread) and Chicken Chop, Aiman's. And of course, my pasta yummyyy

Sangkaya..... Forced Aiman to stay for a shot ahahaha.

Hanging out with them was never dull. It was always full with laughters (cause these guys are hilarious) and tice jenis mudah terhibur haha. In fact, semua jenis mudah terhibur haha. I like my squad. Maybe just like is not enough. More to love. This 3 years bond (oh my god dah tiga tahun?!!!) is awesome. Sigh what did I do to deserve them. 

Allah is so Maha Adil. My family is not here to spoil me, and He gives me them. Alhamdulillah. Nikmat tuhanmu yang manakah yang engkau dustakan, fisha. Will be missing tice, eleena (mmg dah rindu dah pun) and these dudes. Sigh. Two more years baru boleh jumpa. Ni nak sentimental sedih dah la ni :( Hahaha.

Tice looked so tired. Of course she is, she came straight from office and these guys came straight after classes (Aiman lah, Kamal tak rasanya). But tice still played it cool. Cover muka penat muka ngantuk. I love her so much haih. We sent Haikal first because I said so. Hahaha then only me. Hantar sampai depan rumah and it hit me hard on how I could enjoy their company in these remaining two months. May Allah grant me more valuable times with them.

Nah gambaq baby ni to cheer you up gloomy fisha ! She kept staring at me after I habis solat tadi. She is sooo cuteeeee. Jumpa kat Mydin waktu berhenti solat tadi. Teringat kat baby kat Teow Chew Cendol Sunway Pyramid. He waved at me when I passed his table. It was so sudden that I stop for like 2 seconds before I returned his grins. Haha too cute la babies. Maybe Im likeable. Boleh dah kot jadi nanny hahahaha (no, not gonna say mommy). Okay thats it. 

She is cute, is she not ?????

Okay.

Have a good sleep everyone :)
Assalamualaikum.

The problem is : I CANT STAY MAD !

Have you ever mad at someone that you think they deserved something bad ? Like they should face your badass attitude and your poker face and your ignorant kinda crap during a particular time because of what they did to you ?

Have you ever feel like, 

"Its not my fault. I am behaving like this because of you ! If 

you treated me well I wouldn't pull up these attitudes".

Sigh.
Aren't we all ? 

Sooo,,,, recently my patience exploded like 

REEEEEAAALLLLYYYYY

IIIII HAVEEEE HADDD ENAFFFFF

OFFFF THISSSS %$@*!((#^!

So...i did mad. At someone. I pulled up a friggin annoying attitude,

hoping that that person will *geddit* that I was mad

and she/he should be doing something about it.

(y'know i was hoping that she/he would sit at the edge of her/his bed, thinking 
"did i do her wrong?What did i do?Should I apologize? Should I ask?")

GUESS WHAT  ?!!!
NOT ONLY THAT NOTHING HAD HAPPENED ,
I CAME HOME WITH HAPPY FACE
AND GREETED EVERYONE SO WELL
THAT I CAME TO THINK 

what the hell was that? Why would I be so mad about
that kinda crap. Ridiculous la fisha. 

LIDDAT Y'KNOW ?!!

There's the end of this story. Haha !

But really, when I was in my high school, staying moody is a piece of cake. It didn't take a lot to stay mad, though I was labelled as the most garang LDP. 
Today, I realized, 

ohh those moments were over. I couldn't stay mad that long anymore
I guess my reasoning has made an appearance. 

I pushed myself to believe that this is a good thing. Never take something bad
really badly. (we should take it seriously, but not badly. Geddit?)
And there's a whole lot of solutions out there than being mad.
Confront (my favorite technique) or forget it which is quite hard for me 
because i am this one kind of person who when something hit me,
i am not in peace. It sucks y'know. I have to confront, then only I can forget.
But that whats made me braver. To get my thoughts and feelings out.
Then only I can RIP (its a joke gais) hahaha (so laugh la woi)

Anyways, I have everything figured out. Like 
IF you don't like, you tell them. 
IF you don't agree, you suggest something better,
IF you think it will end badly, tell up front. 
I am not a person that would caught up with emotional. Or in other word, I am actually a rational person.
*winkwink*

This is getting off the topic, aye ?
Well, I repeat, I have everything figured out, BUT (let me clarify it here): not my feelings.
HOW I would face problems with guys. 
HOW would I tell my bestfriends that I feel left out,
HOW to tell my mother that I have problem,

HOW to say that I am not alright.

Because I always am. I should be. Sigh.
This is (again) getting off the topic. I am being a very woman (this post proved more than it should) hahahaha. I mean, I can handle a group discussion arguments, help a friends that have problems with the others and oh, this is my popular profession:
HELP SOLVE OTHERS' LOVE STORIES (when my own is like @%#$^). Did you get my points ? Things like that, I can handle, but when it come to relationship, I neglected my own feelings. It's sad but happy at the same time. Sigh.

Anyways, every good things that happened to you must be cherished.
but before that,
Alhamdullillah. All praises to Allah.
Who I know never give up on me. Always have my back.
What do you feel when the most perfect is backing you up  ?
Safe, right ? You should be.

Goodnight :)

I AM SORRY TO ANYONE WHO HAS READ MY HIGH SCHOOL BLOG

Oh My God.

Never know that high school blogging would sounds so *&%$ right now.

i found my 4 years old blog.

It was so shameful, i shall say.

I was face palming the whole time I re read the posts.

"WHY DID I WRITE THAT"

"WHY DID I SAY THAT"
"WHAT ON EARTH WAS I THINKING ON THAT TIME"

"WHAT THE FISH"

I am seriously sorry those who happened to come across my blog.

Let alone reading them.

It was awful. Never know I was such a minah rempit back then.

I need weeks to let these thoughts sink in....

IM SERIOUS......

printf ("Hello world")

Aceceh acacah programming pulak nak printf bagai.
Hahahaha.

Hellllllllooooooooooooo !!!

It has been a super long till the last time I updated my blog.
Oh and uh, not this blog. 
the teenage kinda blogs.
Theyre a shame hahahhaa.
(no, really)
(and its not only one pulak tu)

I will be furthering my studies in the US 
(not sure yet where particularly)
but I am hoping i will get my Illinois Urbana-Champaign.
Sigh. Too many things and conflicts and stuff.
Not gonna brag now and here.

Moving on, I hope to immortalize everything here
EVERYTHING !!
HERE  !!!
HAHAHAHHABISLAHAMPAHAHAHAH

From food to fashion to classes to activities.
Literally everything worth a memory 
(and worth a post)
Hahahahaha. 

There's a lot going lately and I feel uneasy nak tulis
diary while my roomate tgh kat katil sebelah. 
Haha funny. The awkwardness is unreal.

And no, she's a good girl. Not gonna read my physical diary pun.
Just me feeling tak selesa nanti dia pikiaq apa things hahaha.
Okay I start bragging again, right ?

tulis blog mana tahu jumpa jodoh hahahabye

See you guys in the other entries :)